Yeah, so for today I was going to entertain you all about my wonderful word of the day (fishloaf), but I'm not too cheery at the moment. My whole life I've never really had someone close to me whose died. I've been to one funeral, and that was for my great-grandfather who I hardly knew and yet by the end I was bawling. Everyone always talks about how bad it feels and such but I didn't feel anything at that funeral. I just was so detached from it all that it was pointless for me. But today I'm starting to feel like I can't breathe, like everything is turned into some kind of twisted show in which everything goes wrong. When I got home from school my uncle in law had called to say that my grandpa had a stroke. He had one four years ago but it was minor and he's been fine. But this one is so bad that they aren't moving him to another hospital to operate because they don't know if he'll make it. He had it this morning and hasn't said anything all day. My dad left after he got off work to go to the hospital because they don't know how much longer he's going to last, and its four hours away. This is all just so scary because I saw my dad crying for the first time in my life, and my family was all crying hard, including me. I sort of have pushed it out of my mind, hoping that it will all just go away, but I know it won't. My dad is going to call when he gets there, which is in about an hour. Right now I just don't think I can function because its going to be really hard to lose my grandpa. *sigh* Well I'm off to go and try and cheer myself up and hopefully not get a call saying he's died.